The Lawyer's Lawyer

Q. I've had my fill of ignorant and arrogant judges who disgrace the ill-fitting robes they wear. As lawyers, isn't it time we speak out and post about judicial incompetence so we may improve justice for all?

Q. I'm not inclined to make excuses. But things have been so hectic in my office that I let a nice accident case slip through the cracks and failed to file suit by the limitations deadline. My head is spinning. What should I do now?

Finding Bar Counsel's call for an indefinite suspension too "extreme," the Court imposed a more modest moratorium on a lawyer with an unblemished record in close to 50 years of practice.

Q. My online reputation is everything to me. So how should I respond to a scathing review that called me an "awful" and "dishonest lawyer" who cares more about money than people?

Q. Like everything else, I'm behind in formulating my New Year's resolutions. Aside from getting my booster shot, what should I resolve to do in the year ahead?

Q. After emailing several documents to opposing counsel, she slammed me for failing to encrypt the message and exposing records on her client's medical history. Must I encrypt these emails?

Q. I've been approached to represent the husband in a messy custody case. His wife is using an old law school classmate and fellow golfer who serves with me on a bar association committee. Would that present a conflict?

Q. Beyond an occasional accident case, I'm a criminal defense lawyer. In 25 years of practice, I've never been sued, but have spent thousands for malpractice insurance. Can I cancel this unnecessary expense?

Rejecting Bar Counsel's demand for disbarment, the Court found that the lawyer's misguided attempt to respect the last wishes of her client merited leniency in a case which proves that even the best of us make mistakes.

Q. An engaged couple wants to retain me in an accident case. The boyfriend drove through an intersection when a truck ran a red light and crashed into them. May I represent both?

Q. When I started practicing, I was excited to represent clients, try cases, and resolve serious problems. Now I feel like I've lost my "mojo," lack the energy I once had, and dread going to the office. Any advice?

Q. Unable to practice law since her suspension a few years ago, my old law school classmate asked whether I could use her as a paralegal at my own firm. Would I get in trouble if I hire her?

Q. Wishing to handle it herself, my client has asked me not to pay one of her doctors from the proceeds of her settlement. I never signed anything to guarantee such payment, but I'm afraid that the doctor will claim a lien on the proceeds and come after me. What should I do?

Q. Whenever my client gets a bill, he calls to question each of my time entries, keeping me on the phone for 30-45 minutes each time. May I bill him for this time?

Q. After two other lawyers let her down, a sexual harassment victim approached me to fight for fair compensation. I haven't done these cases before, but she thinks the case is worth millions in light of the #MeToo movement. Should I take the case?

Q. Before leaving, our Chief Legal Officer reported directly to our CEO. Rather than keep counsel in upper management, may we eliminate the position and have our next lawyer report to a manager who works beneath our COO?

Q. My criminal defense client texted me that he really wants to testify. He's got loads of priors, and the prosecutor will eat him alive. How can I get my point across so that he stays far away from the witness stand?

Q. Using ransomware, hackers recently locked our firm's data and demanded bitcoins to release it. It cost us around $10,000 to get our data back. But if our clients find out, we'll lose a lot more. Must we tell them?

Q. If my clients agree to it in writing, can I avoid the need for a trust account and put their money elsewhere?

Q. Unable to take payments in person these days, I may let clients use apps like Paypal and Venmo to pay fees and retainers online. Are such payments allowed?

Q. My client, Unicorny Products, wants an immediate restraining order against a counterfeiter that's currently flooding the market with cheap knock-offs. With all that's going on in the world, is it wrong for me to seek emergency relief?

Q. Exempting us from stay-at-home orders designed to keep people healthy, some states let lawyers go to the office to provide "essential" services. Are we really essential or are they just trying to kill us?

Q. Since business has slowed, I finally have time to reconcile my trust account. But I haven't a clue on where to begin. Can you help me?

Q. I'm applying for a loan through the federal Paycheck Protection Program. I can probably survive without it, but if I use the funds to pay my staff, the feds will forgive the loan entirely and subsidize my payroll. Are you doing it too?

Q. Hit by the wave of COVID-19 layoffs, my client is desperate for money and calls often to see if her settlement check arrived. It just came in today's mail, jointly payable to us both. Since I can't have her visit to endorse it herself, may I sign it for her?

Q. I haven't been infected with COVID-19, but I'm already sick of this virus. My firm isn't set up for remote work, courts are closed, and I feel paralyzed. Any advice?

​​Q. Licensed in Maryland and the District of Columbia, I find it challenging to represent consumers and small businesses that can't afford the legal fees of my competitors. If Maryland puts a tax on legal services, how would that impact my clients and my practice?

Q. After a rear-end crash and two years of treatment, the victim retained me on contingency. Within a week, I sent the liability carrier a strong settlement demand along with $175,000 in medical bills. After getting $300,000 in policy limits, my client says I didn't do "enough work" to earn a third of it. A deal's a deal, right?

Q. My client from Athens doesn't speak English. I don't speak Greek. But her son speaks both languages and, until recently, served as my "liaison." Now, they're no longer on speaking terms, and I feel "lost in translation." What should I do now?

​​Q. Unable to pay a significant retainer in a divorce case, a client asked if I could help him "behind the scenes" and ghostwrite certain pleadings without entering an appearance. Is that allowed?