The Lawyer's Lawyer

Q. Wishing to handle it herself, my client has asked me not to pay one of her doctors from the proceeds of her settlement. I never signed anything to guarantee such payment, but I'm afraid that the doctor will claim a lien on the proceeds and come after me. What should I do?

Q. My client has threatened me with a lawsuit and an ethics complaint unless I refund her legal fees. Should I pay her to release these claims?

Q. Whenever my client gets a bill, he calls to question each of my time entries, keeping me on the phone for 30-45 minutes each time. May I bill him for this time?

Q. After two other lawyers let her down, a sexual harassment victim approached me to fight for fair compensation. I haven't done these cases before, but she thinks the case is worth millions in light of the #MeToo movement. Should I take the case?

Q. Before leaving, our Chief Legal Officer reported directly to our CEO. Rather than keep counsel in upper management, may we eliminate the position and have our next lawyer report to a manager who works beneath our COO?

Q. My criminal defense client texted me that he really wants to testify. He's got loads of priors, and the prosecutor will eat him alive. How can I get my point across so that he stays far away from the witness stand?

Q. Using ransomware, hackers recently locked our firm's data and demanded bitcoins to release it. It cost us around $10,000 to get our data back. But if our clients find out, we'll lose a lot more. Must we tell them?

Q. If my clients agree to it in writing, can I avoid the need for a trust account and put their money elsewhere?

Q. Unable to take payments in person these days, I may let clients use apps like Paypal and Venmo to pay fees and retainers online. Are such payments allowed?

Q. My client, Unicorny Products, wants an immediate restraining order against a counterfeiter that's currently flooding the market with cheap knock-offs. With all that's going on in the world, is it wrong for me to seek emergency relief?

Q. Exempting us from stay-at-home orders designed to keep people healthy, some states let lawyers go to the office to provide "essential" services. Are we really essential or are they just trying to kill us?

Q. Since business has slowed, I finally have time to reconcile my trust account. But I haven't a clue on where to begin. Can you help me?

Q. I'm applying for a loan through the federal Paycheck Protection Program. I can probably survive without it, but if I use the funds to pay my staff, the feds will forgive the loan entirely and subsidize my payroll. Are you doing it too?

Q. Hit by the wave of COVID-19 layoffs, my client is desperate for money and calls often to see if her settlement check arrived. It just came in today's mail, jointly payable to us both. Since I can't have her visit to endorse it herself, may I sign it for her?

Q. I haven't been infected with COVID-19, but I'm already sick of this virus. My firm isn't set up for remote work, courts are closed, and I feel paralyzed. Any advice?

​​Q. Licensed in Maryland and the District of Columbia, I find it challenging to represent consumers and small businesses that can't afford the legal fees of my competitors. If Maryland puts a tax on legal services, how would that impact my clients and my practice?

Q. After a rear-end crash and two years of treatment, the victim retained me on contingency. Within a week, I sent the liability carrier a strong settlement demand along with $175,000 in medical bills. After getting $300,000 in policy limits, my client says I didn't do "enough work" to earn a third of it. A deal's a deal, right?

Q. My client from Athens doesn't speak English. I don't speak Greek. But her son speaks both languages and, until recently, served as my "liaison." Now, they're no longer on speaking terms, and I feel "lost in translation." What should I do now?

​​Q. Unable to pay a significant retainer in a divorce case, a client asked if I could help him "behind the scenes" and ghostwrite certain pleadings without entering an appearance. Is that allowed?

​​Q. Every week, consumers and business owners call me with cases that aren't large enough to justify my fees. I hate turning them away. But what's the alternative?